"Empathy, now more than ever". "Empathy is the new black". Empathy is the truth that better be told when 2009 is said and done! Because as cold and difficult as '09 promises to be for many, without an abundance of empathy for what others are living through, this year may prove to simply be unbearable. The last couple of ROP's (12/27/08, 12/28/08) touch on empathy.
Empathy is my most cherished word. It goes beyond love to include all the best of what love should include-selflessness, understanding, humanity. But like love, people who don't have it or worse, don't get it-ever- live a life of void. Empathy happens to joyful people who are sorrowful for those who are lacking it. Empathy also enrobes those in pain who deeply wish those of similar fate, were not. But, if there is one thing i have learned it's that empathy is never part of people who care about only about themselves and see mostly themselves in life's difficult situations.
Empathy is not charity. I know wealthy people who give plenty and are the least empathetic people imaginable. Truly. They give because they can, because it makes them feel special/good, or frankly because that's all they can give. Conversely, i know many many people who give drops in the proverbial bucket but every cent really counts and every act of caring, kindness is an act of something special.
Life is clearly strange. Because of my mom passing when i was just a kid and being hospitalized at about the same time, i was shown a lot of love and attention that somehow translated to me becoming, if nothing else, an overly empathetic "sensitive" individual. Many have said pain causes people to become something else, since i was yet to be much of anything at six, it caused me to be what i became. I cry at sadness and suffering-in 30 year old movies, at Humane Society commercials with animals who've been shown everything but empathy.
I've been blessed to have known and have cared for and been cared by two exceptionally empathetic souls. My wife Josana. And, a dear friend Mary Anne McCoy. Ten years ago, Mary Anne and I created a kid's character property called Shoulders (along with his dog pal, Heal) to deliver information and comfort for sick children. Given my childhood experience and Mary Anne surviving, at the time brain cancer, Shoulders was a true labor of empathy. Aetna/US Healthcare and John Hopkins University Medical Center got behind our efforts and we produced wonderful web delivered information, dolls and other support for kids in need. Mary Anne being the exceptional writer she was made the content so very accessible to these sick kids. Mary Anne passed away two years ago.... Mary Anne will always be missed by her loved ones, by me, by the kids we helped. Empathy, like love is not something to take for granted.
This year, the way it's looking, we may want to, may need to, look more at real characters with real fabric (even beyond guys like Shoulders) to lean on. Because when you're scarred about losing everything, regardless of your age, your previous status, your anything...getting support from people who get what you're going through, just may make all the difference in the world!
(P.S. Happy Holidays Mary Anne-i know how you loved the holidays and how you are especially missing Trevor at this time of year...).
